From confusion to conviction — the shift that changed everything.
Before pa ko nag-2nd year, naka-duty na ko. Pero back then, lahi pa akong mindset. I was doing things because kailangan, not because I understood why. Nervous, lost, and honestly, murag ga-automatic lang ko basta makaduty, okay na, basta makapasa, laban lang.
There were days na gusto nako muundang. Kapoy. Usahay tamad. Usahay questioning if kaya ba nako ni. Every time mu-reflect ko, I used to think, “Maybe nursing isn’t for me.” Pero kabalo si Lord bisan unsa ka-gubot akong mind, naa jud siyay way para ipakita nga dili pa ni ang ending.
I remember crying over my scores. Grabe akong hilak. Murag dali ra para muingon “bawi lang next time,” pero deep inside, sakit. Because I knew I tried. Pero later on, na-realize nako — those tears weren’t failure, they were prayers. Every iyak was heard. God was listening, even when I felt invisible.
Then came that day in the ER Rot. Nag-kabit kog ECG, nag-type sa name, nag-print, nag-hatag kay doc, then nag-insert kog IV sa elderly patient. One hit. Murag kalit lang ni-slow mo tanang palibot. That small success felt so big. I almost cried again but this time, out of joy. Because the same girl who once doubted her skills just did it perfectly. That was the moment I knew: this is where I’m meant to be.
From there, everything changed. Abi nako sauna na ginapilit lang nako ang hospital life, but no gi-pa-realize ni Lord sakoa nga dili ni pilit. Calling ni. He showed me that courage in nursing isn’t just about performing procedures. It’s about showing up, even when you’re tired. It’s about being the hands that comfort, the heart that listens, the smile that gives someone hope.
Before, I thought nursing was just for money para makalarga abroad, para maka-level up. Pero karon, kabalo nako: this is for people. For patients who still manage to say “thank you” even when they’re in pain. For mentors who believed in me. For my younger self who never stopped trying.
And now that I’m a 4th-year student, I see how far I’ve come. From that unsure, scared student who only wanted to survive each shift, to someone who wants to serve, to care, to love this path deeply. Sometimes I think back and smile I used to dream of titles, like “Doctor” or “RN,” pero karon lahi na. God made me realize that calling isn’t about position, it’s about purpose. Success isn’t found in titles, but in the peace you feel when you’re finally where you’re meant to be. So here I am still tired sometimes, still nervous sometimes but sure. Sure that nursing isn’t just a course. It’s my calling. And every time a patient smiles and says “thank you,” I know in my heart, “Mao diay ni, Lord. “💛
Shift Happens - SN chronicles 